A Dinosaurs View of Dating Today…

I am one of those people who can talk to people of all ages. I have friends in their 20s and on up.

Tonight one of them called me and wanted to know if wanted to have dinner with him. I told him I had already eaten and promised him a rain check. His dad is a really good friend of mine. He has recently moved back from where his parents moved to and he is still not reacclimated to small town life.

I have a friend who is 22. She makes me think of myself a great deal. She is funny, smart, introverted, she had just not had the best luck with guys. She has been attracted to a certain type of guy and they have treated her like crap.

Not too long ago, she told me she was going to give herself 6 months before she dated anyone.

Now being a teen in the 1980s meeting people and dating was somewhat different.

This was when phones still had a cord and you would lay in the floor with your feet propped up on the wall and they could hear you giggle or shyly respond to a compliment.  They had to actually ask you out on a date. At my house, your parents met them before you left with them. You had to be careful because the whole family could hear what you were saying and believe me, my folks were listening.

Back in a time before texting and smart phones. We didn’t have messenger or tinder where you swipe one way of you are interested or the other way if you’re not. The only way this dinosaur knows about this stuff is that she has 20 something friends.

You were either dating back in the day or you were just friends. There was not a term called “we’re talking”. If you wanted to communicate you had to talk.

Sorry, I wandered. My friend was going to stay single for six months. Here is a sure fired way to meet someone, give up, swear off dating, give yourself the power to decide what you want, so someone can swoop in and shake you up to your very core.

I know this; it has happened to me twice. Both times turned out great or at least the second one has so far. The first time it happened there was an 18 1/2 year marriage.

The second I have enjoyed keeping company or talking to or whatever it is you do nowadays for 5ish years.

This was after being lied to and cheated on by this lame, cowboy wanna be.  So I know what it is like to say, nah I’d rather be alone.

And right on schedule a handsome, charming, brilliant man notices me. Still trying to understand what he sees in me but I ain’t knocking it.

So the night she told me about the six month thing, I told her to buckle her seatbelt. He came out of no where. He wasn’t on her radar. She was taken aback that he absolutely flipped over her. I see her point of view, I would feel the same way.

She of course started with I have never dated anyone like him before  and being the brutally honest type I said and those turned out so well.

Then she started finding little quirks about him. I knew what was happening, she was running scared. She told me in the past that she had done all the chasing, that when someone was interested in her she got more emotionally invested than they did and a lot faster.

She got spooked. He will drive three hours to spend time with her. He has taken her to meet his parents. He tells her that she is perfect. She doesn’t know what to do with that. I told her to enjoy it. I remember when someone told me I was perfect and beautiful although I couldn’t see it myself. That was another life time. It would take someone seeing it before I admitted it to myself .

She is at the point where he wants to meet her parents and she isn’t sure she is ready for that. I get it, there are family members that I don’t want to subject my person to simply to protect him from them. Family will latch on and pick something apart and ruin something good if you are not careful.

She doesn’t know how to handle this. She is not sure of her feelings. I told her to take her time. Not to make any rash decisions either way, to enjoy the time they spend together.

I understand walls, I have them but if he truly loves her, he will slowly tap and chip away at that wall. If he tries to bulldoze it down she will run like a rabbit.

I don’t know how it will end. I listen to her, weigh in when asked, choose my words so carefully that she made a comment that she sees the wheels turning.

She wants the fairytale. I truly hope she gets it. I have just seen enough of life to realize that everyone seems to think that everything is disposable, including relationships. I don’t see life that way, never have and I guess I never will. I take commitment seriously. I have lived through the worst thing I could. Guess that’s a good thing about being around before swipe left, swipe right and such existed.



I have had some problems with my stomach for a week now. We still don’t know what it is. If it is a bug or medication. We are working on figuring it out.

Now, I am not a weakling when it comes to being sick but this second round of whatever this is kicked my tail literally.

Yesterday, I finally broke down and went to the doctor. I explained to her what was going on.

Her final words to me were, you have to eat. You need nutrition. You are severely dehydrated. We have three options. We can give you fluid here. We can admit you to the hospital or you can drink everything you can hold at home.

I chose to drink at home. So I loaded myself up with Gatorade, water, hot tea anything I could think of.

I have never had anything like this. I really wasn’t able to care for myself. I didn’t want anyone near me, in case it was a virus. I could only react to what my body was doing.

It is hard living alone when you are so very sick. It is easy to fall into the mire and get depressed. About two am yesterday morning, I was praying asking God if I was dying.

I was so sick. Adding to the problem, I caught a cold off a coworker. I couldn’t get warm, I didn’t want to call an ambulance although I strongly thought about it.

I just sat and prayed, waiting for the doctors office to open and believe me, I do not want to go to the doctor. Ever!!!

I had to go for blood work to see if my pancreas had been affected by the new medicines I have been put on. I have been very open about my battle with diabetes. One of the side effects is problems with the very organ that is making you sick in the first place.

Thankfully, that turned out well.

I didn’t want to complain because I have just found out one of my best friends was that same day diagnosed with breast cancer. She was very open about it, which is strange for her as she is very private.

Instead of complaining, I kind of made Where’s Waldo jokes and posted a pic of me in a mask that they made me wear.  Just trying to be upbeat about the whole thing.

Things are better today but I know how a plant feels when it is withered.

Although I have somewhat rehydrated myself, the effects are still there. Now, to get over this hurdle.

Writing Prompt: When you were taught a lesson by a child….

I had a job where I worked around children for 13 years. Never having any offspring of my own, this filled a void in my life; the biggest lesson I was taught by a child was from my littlest little at the time.

At a point when my life changed completely, she was only six months old. As a matter of fact, the  day she was born we were having a cancer treatment and my late husband wanted to make sure that he would not harm her if he went to see her.

He passed away before she was old enough to know him. She doesn’t fully understand that I was once married.

I would follow her as she grew and began crawling, then walking, then running.

I was taking life the same way she was. Learning my way around at first crawling if I needed to. As she was learning to stand on wobbly legs, I was doing so emotionally. She quickly became her own little, quirky personality.

I think I admire that part about her as much as anything. When she has an entire conversation with no one on a cell phone with no service or plays with a computer keyboard saying she can run the world from right there, it gives me an insight into imagination.

She has taught me a great deal and when I am around, I am the chosen playmate. This is because when she lets her imagination run wild, I go right along with her.

Last year for Christmas, when she was 6, I gave her the little point and shoot camera  I bought the day she was born, just to take photos of her. For about a month, her entire family fussed at me because she was blinding them taking pictures. She took it with her to the grocery store one day and actually got some amazing photos.

When she shoots with my big camera, she will take one shot and say It’s good. I’ll say well let me check it. She will say why? It’s good and it always is. Now that is confidence.  She is fearless.

She will from time to time pull out the note that I put in with her camera and show me that she still has it.

She loves to collect rocks. She keeps her collection outside beside the porch but I always try to get her a rock if I go someplace new.

You see although not in chronological years, in many ways we are about the same age and she  taught me how to start over.


A Letter to My Teenage Self….

Dear Younger Me,

I know how you see yourself today.  You don’t see any pride or value in yourself. You see yourself as fat and ugly. You let the words of others make you cry. You feel like you will never be loved for who you are.

You do just enough in school because you don’t want to stand out or be noticed. You are much smarter than you let on. You just don’t like to be compared to your pretty, smart, athletic sister but you don’t have a name, you are just her little sister.

You don’t feel pretty, you are smart but about different subjects than she. You like math and history. You enjoy singing and poetry, yet you never let anyone see that side of you.

You are not athletic, although you tried. You are better at band and flagcorp. You’ve found your teen tribe with the band geeks. Some of them will be your friends all your life.

You will find love, more than once,  there will be a day a day when you can tell the boys that made you cry how bad it made you feel. Some of them will tell you that they messed up. Be kinder to them than they were to you.

You will not always be as big as you are now. Life will hand you struggles and you will hand them right back coming out better for it.

You will encounter pain and grief that at the time will seem unbearable. You will struggle with this and continue to move forward, just remember that forward is forward no matter how slow you go.

You will find out you are a great deal more creative than you think. You will surprise yourself with some things you will learn and become passionate about.

If I can leave you with a shining spotlight on what you have to look forward to it will be this…..

You will be loved and desired. Enjoy the intimate moments physically, mentally and emotionally. Be present for all those moments.

There will be a computer age that is laying right at the front door, embrace it, learn everything you can, you will use those things the rest of your life. They are not all bad though you will find out they can be used for good or evil.

You will not be the mousy girl with the loud laugh all your life , okay you will still have a loud laugh but although it will take it a bit of time you will find that backbone and you will find out that making yourself miserable while keeping everyone happy is no way to live.

Oh yeah, one more thing…. quit crossing your arms. You have big boobs, get over hiding them, not everyone is put off by that, some people actually enjoy those things. Just sayin’.

Now go live a life you will be proud of. Sprinkle glitter and sunshine everywhere you go, the my girl will be your legacy.

With more love than you will ever know,

The 49 year old you


In Just One Day….

In just one day, I have felt fear, love, joy. I have seen glee, amusement, trepidation. I have heard of frustration, greed and success. I have spoken humor and sang of love, hoping that lyrics like “the day you strolled in, my heart was stolen” were heard and the smile on my face was seen because I was singing about and to him.

I have experienced life. I have lived, not survived, lived. It all happened on a typical ordinary day. Life happened. It may be far from perfect but it is my life. I may be far from perfect, I gave up striving for perfection a very long time ago.

So as I lay here, in my bed, smelling of the lotion I have put on my body, listening to the movie that I am not watching on the TV, with my windows open so that I can get fresh air and  I smile. I lived today. If tomorrow doesn’t come, I can say I lived. Even if just for a day.


I Will Always Love You….

My girls (my great nieces) are growing up so very fast, the oldest one just turned 13 in May. An actual teenager in Earth years but she has one of those old souls.

She is so wise for her age, wiser than me some days, as she proved to me today as we had a conversation driving up the road.

We were doing a photo shoot for her new CD. Everybody’s first response is that she is beautiful. She is, no doubt about it; she is gorgeous. She is also, smart, talented, funny, goofy, wise beyond her years, a loving person who wants to see good in everyone. She is strong in her faith. She will not do anything she finds distasteful. She is focused. She is driven. She will not put her name on something she is not proud of. She is so much more than what people see.

They simply do not know her like I do. She always tells her other sisters that I love her more because I have loved her longer. I love them all, in different ways. They are all so very unique. They all have their strengths and very singular personalities. I give them the attention each needs. It’s just that right now the focus is on the older one getting her CD done.

We were alone on one of my favorite crooked country roads. It is the second round of photos for the project.  Her parents leaving her in my care,  had left us  to do what we do because they had to take care of some other things. We were fighting for time, there was a thunderstorm not so far away.

We did the shots and as always, I had music playing from an old cell phone. The song “Forever Country”, which is a mashup of some classic country songs sang by some of the greatest voices from the past and the present,  came on. Here is the link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s9gAXwYZtfk

We were looking at the shots we had just taken, she has to proof each of them. As we stood there flipping through pictures, we began singing along with the song. At the end of the song the last song they blend in is “I Will Always Love You” came on. As they began to sing that part, she laid her head over on my shoulder and sang to me.

Of course, I cried. In that moment, I knew that I was loved as deeply and as innocently as anyone could ever be. She wanted nothing but to in her way tell me she loves me. She does all the time but that time was a little more special than all the times before. No one saw it, no one was supposed. It was a moment but one that I will hold in my heart forever.


Motivation Level Zero…

I am a person who likes certain things being on schedule, other things I am a  go with the flow kind of girl.

On Sundays when I am not working, I go to church. So every other Sunday I go to church. Yesterday, they were calling for slick roads so church was cancelled.

It threw me off my schedule. I am 48 years old. I was born on a Wednesday and I was in church on Sunday. It is a major part of my life. So missing church makes for a long Sunday.

According to my “weather mom” who gives me the daily weather update when she calls me, the snow was supposed to come in the afternoon. So, I laid on the couch and watched some classic comedies.

Afternoon came, the snow did not. I only wanted to do one thing. That didn’t work out. There were things I could have been doing, there were things I should have been doing. I could be working on some of my projects. I could be editing photos.  I should have been working on my taxes. I could have eaten. I laid on the couch.

I didn’t want to move from the couch. I am not one to lay around and just veg out. So, I wondered am I getting sick? Is something wrong with me? Why do I not want to get up? So I watched “The Ghost and Mr. Chicken”, ” The Incredible Mr. Limpet”The Shakiest Gun in the West”, It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World”…IMHO one of the funniest movies of all time. I just laid there and watched movies all afternoon. I didn’t speak (verbally) to anyone until late that evening. NOBODY!!! I never heard my own voice for 12 hours.

Of course working night shift, after the sun went down, I decided I wanted to get up off the couch. I went to working on some of my glass projects. I talked to a friend on the phone who called me. I ate food.

I just need to let everything rest if only for a day. Sunday is the traditional day of rest. Maybe in my own way, I was doing exactly what I needed to do. Today, I was much more productive and more adventurous with some of the glass I was fusing.

So maybe I need a day of zero motivation to rest my mind and my body.