You know how you just have days when you feel, ehhh???
You are stressed out. For example currently in my world, I have had a dude running in and out of my house trying to get my tub fixed, at work, we have new broadcasting equipment, full of glitches; people ask you about items you make then say you are too high on your prices; you feel like nothing is going right and then you find out that people are talking about your lifestyle behind your back.
When you live in a small town, you hear things. Some of my family (cousins) have been discussing how lonely I must be. That I need something more in my life. Here is the problem. They don’t know my life. They are in the suburbs of my existence.
Apparently from reading random post on social media, they decided I need to get out more.
I get out plenty. I have someone in my life. My life (job not included at this moment) is going just peachy.
I shut down. Physically my body is telling me I am under too much stress. Mentally, I am questioning everything I am doing. Emotionally, I shut down. I hadn’t been on social media for two days. Nobody wanted to know what I was thinking.
I just wanted to ask for a hug. I couldn’t though. I couldn’t say I needed support. I couldn’t say that I hurt. I never mentioned that part in conversation today, I wanted to. I wanted him to put his arms around me and tell me it is going to be okay. I couldn’t describe what I was feeling. I couldn’t use my words.
So I came home, went to my moms and sat on her porch. The silence was deafening. I came home and worked on editing photos. I couldn’t concentrate. I sat on my porch and watched lightening bugs Then I picked myself up, I went and I made another piece of jewelry just because I could. The only person who knows it exists is my person, if he has looked at the image by now.
Now, I lay on my bed crying. I don’t bother anyone. I pretty much keep my personal life, well, personal. Yet somehow, people think they have a right to put into my business. I will keep doing what I am doing. I will enjoy my life and if all they can do is talk about me, then maybe they should get one as well.