I told him once he looked like a Greek god. I meant it then and I mean it now.
I don’t say it very much because I know it bugs him.
It doesn’t stop me from thinking it. It doesn’t stop me from forgetting to breathe when I am around him and it most certainly does not stop the moan that comes from deep within me when I first see him, every single time. I know what that moan means…. and someday, I am sure he is going to open the door too quickly or the window will be down and I will let that sound escape.
There was once a joke about me being a Victoria Secret angel because I want to build a set of wings. A joke… obviously, because he will never see me that way. Too old, too heavy, too not enough or maybe too much.
It doesn’t stop the dreams from coming. Over and over and over, each one getting more detailed. Enough so that I awake breathless.
That tango between the greek god and the angel. That “forbidden dance” that feels so very right. That sultry melding of flesh against flesh. No inhibitions, no fears, no regrets.
For the time I am in this dream world, I am not aging, I am not overweight, I am not awkward. In this place I am beautifully young and desirable with a body that he longs to touch with his artists hands. Making this flesh come to life again. Creating something from nothing. He has already done that with my mind and my heart, the only thing lacking is this flesh house those things inhabit.
In my dream world, I am a vixen who isn’t afraid to say what she wants. She goes for it with vim and vigor, not the stumbling, clumsy me that dwells in this flesh house. I allow myself to let my guard down. I make myself available to him..fully, willingly and completely.
I guess that is the great thing about dreams. They allow you to be who you want to be with no harm of being hurt by rejection. Our fear of not being good enough, it sits on the shelf for a while. Our dreams are based in our unspoken longings. This one is for sure.
You wake up and wonder what it would be like in the waking world; what it would be like if there were dances between greek gods and angels.