Today, I Feel Small…

Judging by the title, your train of thought could go one of two ways…another weight loss post or what it actually is, I feel like I don’t matter.

I have spent the weekend working. I have worked on my taxes, a good business woman I am not. I like the creating, hate the book keeping.

I knew I needed to get some images of my jewelry out there. So when I woke up two hours before I should have awakened, I decided that I should take photos instead of making more jewelry. I went into my studio and began to work. I got some good images and have gotten good response from several post on different social media sites. Even got a very nice comment about the bold colors I use.

I realized that there were pieces that all I needed to do was put the finishing touches on. I packed those into my bag to work on tonight.

I went out into my yard and pick up a few stray sticks scattered about by the wind of recent storms.

I went in, got dressed, got my things together for work having talked to nobody. I let calls go to voicemail. On my way out the door I talk to my mom for a moment.

I drive through my small town, all the restaurants were either too peopley or I didn’t want their offerings so I just gave up and went for a walk.

It was when I took the first photo that I realized I feel small today. I was looking down. I know why and that doesn’t matter, it just needs to stop. Don’t look down darling your crown might slip. Raise you head high. Look up. So the next photo took was a photo of a weed with a blue sky in the background.

Oddly enough, I had parked at the office and walked to a place to walk where a great deal of pain had been inflicted on me. It was the place that the things that happened there caused me to have to turn my world upside down.

Sometimes you have to face things you may not want to but you need to. You need to look those things you dislike right in the eye and remind yourself that you are bigger than what you have endured. You are bigger than you feel at times. You are bigger…the last photo I took was of my own shadow, it was bigger.

I finally went and got food. I will eat it at some point. I ate my fortune cookie first, just hoping for some good luck.

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