Today is my “day off”. I say that because I work night shift.
I have to stay awake until morning so I can sleep tomorrow.
I have “The Big Bang Theory” playing in the room I am in. I occasionally laugh at something Sheldon says, simply because.
It is thundering in a distance and the rain comes in bands pounding the side of the house.
I am working on jewelry, it is work on a piece and wait, repeating the same process yet not exactly getting the results I want.
I write in my journal about the day spent with him. That person who makes me so very happy.
I read a book on how to journal differently, he found it at a used book store we went to today.
I think about a conversation with a friend last evening. My snarky little brother figure. He is dealing with some things right now and I say a prayer that he will feel better soon.
I think about my family and friends who are dealing with things in their lives. Another prayer goes up.
I let my mind wander some miles away where the person who holds my heart is sleeping. I imagine him sleeping in his bed. His mind and body relaxing from the projects he is working on, hoping some of the ideas we batted around today add to what he is doing. I want to help him as much as he has helped me.
I wonder if he lays there thinking about me. I wonder if he feels the same way about me as I feel about him. I am more verbal in my feelings, I choke on them if I don’t. I always said I would have no regrets. I don’t want to leave this earth with him wondering if I truly love him, because I do oh so much. I let my mind wander to other things as well, I am human after all.
I am half way through the night. I need to make it just a little longer then sleep can come so my mind and body can prepare for the long weekend ahead of me.
I guess you could say at nights I feel lonely. While everyone I know sleeps, I bowl against people around the globe; someone some where is awake. It might be one of you for all I know.
If it is, thanks for being awake.