I have been working on my studio for several days. I have lost a ton of sleep trying to get the project done. I have secluded myself in this space making sure it was done so that it would be efficient. I needed to get it done. I had started it and I needed to get it finished.
Finally tonight, I finished it.
I woke up this afternoon and I worked on it for about an hour. I got to the last pile of stuff and for a moment, I felt panicked.
Why was I panicked? I didn’t understand.I had wanted this for a long time. Why do I feel this nervous feeling?
I had made plans to go to the local university to hear my great niece sing so I did that. I had just a few minutes to put the final few things away before I had to come to work.
Why did I feel so….hollow, that may be a good word. When I was working on it, I felt like I was getting organized. I felt good about it. As I placed the last item on the shelf, I felt like….eh….. well that is done.
There was no one there to share it with. I was there all by myself. It was ….hollow. The one person that I wanted to share it with, was busy doing something else. My phone (the piece of crap that it is) locked up. I had to let the battery die so it would reboot. I knew that this was one of those moments when I felt lonely. I mean really lonely.
No one is going to see it. In that moment I wanted to call and say, come see it, but….
I know that when I start working on my projects it will feel more like a studio but for now it is just a task, albeit a big one, it was a task. It was something that I needed to do and now it is done.
I just now, have to put it to use.