Today, I let my curiosity get the better of me. I wound up being upset.
Something I had given a great number of hours and a good deal of money to was attempting to be recreated.
Now, as before those “in charge” don’t get the idea behind it. It is still their program. Only now, they are allowing facilitators are being compensated. Not a great deal but still being compensated. They allowed another facilitator and myself to provide ideas, supplies and our time for nothing. Now, being employed with them at the time, I could see dissing me.
Not him. He was a volunteer. His time, his talent, his stuff. They never once offered to compensate him. I mentioned several time about it but I was just blown off.
This was one of the straws that broke the camels hump with me.
I gave it my all and in the end it was not good enough.
Now having said all that, I am very happy where I am. I can give my creative energy to my own projects and not theirs.
I do still have a bad taste about it though. They didn’t listen to the people. They had their preconceived ideas and no matter what, their minds were not going to be changed.
After I found some things out, a wonderful day became a crappy one, I was kind of still on a cloud after spending time with him yesterday. I am still allowing those people who had no place in my life anymore still have an effect on my emotions.
I called my mom and she gave me some words of wisdom. She reminded me that the devil knows our weaknesses and he will play on those. That is what was happening. I just took a few moments to allow the emotions I was feeling to be real then I cranked up my music, regrouped and refocused my energy on working on the new studio, I found out that I can get a great deal done when I am in that mood.
When I got ready for work, I stopped by a local eatery and there were two couples I knew from that time in my life and they all told me how they missed me and how things were not the same. Hugs were exchanged and they all asked if I was enjoying the new chapter in my life. I assured them that I was much happier.
When I came into work, there was a gift basket from a lady I had talked to on the worst night of her life.
Somehow, when you focus on the good, the bad just kind of flows away.