I am way too predictable. I need some excitement.
I am in this rut of wake up, go get something to eat, take it to work, eat it in a couple of bites, pour a cup of coffee and get to work.
Come home from work, go to bed, wake up when my mom calls and get up and do it all over again.
This evening I was awake and ready before my mom even called. I didn’t sleep well today.
I am PMSing, on a diet and trying to quit some bad habits. Needless to say, I am very short, curt and got no time for foolishness. One of the guys at work last night asked me if I hated them, so I had to explain that no, I was just having a few mood swings right now, hopefully it will end soon, once the additives leave my system. I was awake three times today for a couple of reasons. One was cravings; the other well, that was for a craving also, just very different in nature.
So, I got ready for work and went for a drive. My soul purpose was to drive on a dirt road as fast as I could until “I got it sideways”.
I needed to feel something. So, I went for the adrenaline rush. I drove on a road that circles around near my house. It goes past the cemetery where my grandparents are buried.
It took me three times to get it sideways, I managed to do it. It wasn’t the smartest thing to do since my tires are not the best. In that moment I didn’t care about my tires. I just wanted to feeling something, do the unpredictable.
Nobody knew where I was or what I was doing and that is exactly what I wanted. I wanted to do something stupid. I needed to feel that I was flying by the seat of my pants and doing something just because.
I went to pick up my dinner and oddly enough, the last two days, I have went to different restaurants and the same guy has been in both places. The whole time I was picking up my order, he was starring at me. That kind of excitement, I don’t need.
Now back to the normal. I have gotten to work and eaten, I am drinking my first cupa to get me through the night, now I wait.