So after my melt down this morning with my project, I took a nap.
I just didn’t want to deal with it anymore. This project is bigger than I initially thought. I knew it would take a while but in my perfect little mind, it would take a day maybe two, working at a comfortable pace.
It has turned into I am working like a mad woman and getting no where. I was making myself crazy.
I felt isolated by this sea of stuff. It was taking over. It was making me feel less than it, if that makes any sense at all. The not knowing what to do with it was winning the battle. I needed to get away from it. For my own sanity, I needed to take a step back.
Now before you look at this and say well hell, take a step back. That is not how I am hard wired. I am a finisher. I set myself a goal and I will about kill myself to get to the end of it.
I won’t allow myself to start another project until I have a work space in which to do it.
I push myself harder than anyone else will ever push me, until something that will be for my benefit instead of being therapeutic becomes almost a race with a penalty if I don’t finish on time.
I will lose sleep, forget to eat because I feel like I must finish. I don’t allow myself to enjoy the process due to focusing on the end goal.
This is not the way I should approach such things. I should look at the fact that I am purging clutter from my home with extreme prejudice. I am arranging my space so I can be more efficient.
Instead of doing it the right way, I am doing it the wrong way. Maybe I should dance around in my underwear more.
Luckily, I have someone who rescued me from myself today. We went out and had lunch. We went and picked up some items we needed for projects we are working on and then I came to work.
Upon entering my home to get ready to go to work, I noticed that the space didn’t look as bad as I had thought. I am seeing improvement in the rest of the house. By giving my supplies a home of their own, I am getting my own home back. I will have that place where I came come home after a long nights work and just relax.
That is pretty cool when I take a step back and look at it through new eyes.