I don’t anyone who doesn’t struggle.
Right now in my world, most of us are struggling with something.
My struggle began last week. My got upset for being seemingly invisible, I guess that is how I should describe it, I didn’t say anything about it. A photo client was pressuring me for photos the day after the shoot. I didn’t say anything about it. My computer was giving me a fit not allowing me to upload said photos, I got conned into working for someone “sick”, who decided to stick around for several hours after I rearranged my life to help her out and I didn’t say anything about it. The only thing that I say something down when I was cussed at work by a customer. I gave it right back to him. The next day, I saw him and he tried to be nice. Oh no baby, it don’t work that way.
See the constant here? I didn’t say anything.
I stuffed everything inside. It’s not like it mattered if I said anything or not.
So, when I stepped into my tub in the wee hours of the morning and the bottom of it cracked, apparently so did I.
It was the straw that broke the camels hump. I cried myself to sleep that night.
Yesterday, I didn’t want to get out of bed, but I needed to take my mom to church. I got ready, went and picked her up, went to church, had lunch with the family and took her back home. I then went home and climbed into my blanket fort. I didn’t want to adult. It was just too hard.
I spent the day listening to soothing music, drinking hot tea, editing the last of the photos and reading John Steinbeck short stories.
My niece called me and asked me if I wanted to go to supper with them. I at first said no but she asked me again, she pretty much knows when something is bothering me.
I finally gave in and went to dinner and after visiting with them for a while, I went back home. I wallowed around in bed for a couple of hours and finally got up and did a couple of things, finally getting sleepy enough to try sleeping again.
I woke up this morning and decided I wanted to go somewhere besides here. I got dressed and issued an invitation for an impromptu road trip.
Just being able to talk to my person about what was eating at me helped. On the way home, we went on a detour and say some interesting ice formations. At least I thought they were interesting. I pulled off the road and we walked back down and I took some cell phone pics. I realized as I was walking in the crisp air that I was almost dancing. At that moment, for the first time in several days, I felt alive again.
So, if you are struggling today, if you are sitting in your blanket fort hoping for a better day, hold on, find someone to talk to, go on a road trip, dance in the winter air; no matter what, hang in there, tomorrow may be much better.