Right now I am in one of those non productive phases. I am not making jewelry, I am trying to figure out how to market the stock I currently have, so I am not making anything right now there is no point.
Yet, in the back of my head and on my many project surfaces, things are happening, they are just not being assembled. I am looking and thinking.
I am wanting to paint. Not that I can paint anything that anyone would know what it is, but I want to paint for the sheer feeling of the paint and the brush on the canvas.
On my long 12 hour shifts, the my thoughts go toward my person, future projects, editing photos that I may or may not share. Those things that matter most to me.
When I am “doing nothing”, my brain is quite busy. I may not be using my hands to piece together my jewelry, I may be forming a story that I am working on. The dream of being a storyteller will never die. It is a dream I have had for a very long time. I want to engage and inspire children through the spoken word. I love to take them on adventures and bring them back with just the sound of my voice. The image they see in the process is up to them.
I think about if my person and I could hit the road and make a living, truly make a living, doing what we love to do and make the world a better place, how fantastic that could be. This is another dream that will never die.
I may look like I am doing nothing but I am firing on all cylinders.
When my co-workers come in, I talk with them yet suddenly, I want them to go do their thing. I need time to think. They talk so much that the noise drowns out my thoughts. When they are gone, the story I am thinking about, the piece of jewelry I want to make, the thoughts of just sitting and painting a picture the world will never see, they all come rushing back into my mind, along with wondering if the person who holds my heart is resting well or if he is awake in the night working on his own projects.
So while it may look to most like I am still, that I am serene, that I am placid, some may even say lazy, my brain is very busy. I know it is a time for me to rest, to think, to regroup.
I will again begin to produce products I want to share with the world but for now, I wait, in the stillness of the night, in my own thoughts.