I Had To Laugh…

I got to spend the day with my person. We had a great day just roaming around. Just exploring seeing what we could see, sometime riding around in circles. There was  a large amount of laughter.

I work night shift so my mom calls to make sure I am awake for work. She worries that I sleep so soundly that I won’t hear my alarm.

Today she called me as usual. She talked to me for a couple of minutes. She asked me if I was awake. I said yes. She asked me where I was. I told her. She asked me what I was doing. I told her that also. What I didn’t tell her was who I was with. She didn’t ask. I  would of told her had she asked. She knows who I want to spend my time with. Then she asked me about some cake I brought home yesterday.

Suddenly, right in the middle of her rant about me getting the wrong cake,  she said, Oh you are not alone. I’ll let you go. Bye. I tried not to laugh. It was hard to do. It was like she had just walked in on something she shouldn’t have.

Now, I am a middle aged woman and my mother respects the fact that I value the time alone with my person. Just as he respects the time I spend with her. She knows how I feel about him. I think everyone who has seen us knows how I feel about him. I don’t hide it very well.

We are both very private for the most part, I am probably more open with my feelings. I am more vocal about wanting to make memories and how he makes me feel.

You have to remember that 5 years ago the world as I knew it ended and now I know the value of time and not to take even one second for granted.

I would have also never thought there would be a chance in you know where that he would want to share time with me.

I don’t have the best image of myself, although, I will admit I have come a long way. So when we started talking, I couldn’t see him having an interest in me at all. From the moment I met him, I knew he was someone that I wanted in my world.

He is so smart and he has taught me so much. He lets me explore not only the world around me but the world within me as well. He is one of the most amazing people I have every had the pleasure of knowing. I tell him that all the time. I just wish he could see himself through my eyes.

I want to spend every moment I can loving him, being with him, laughing with him.

I come from a place where plan A was to sit on the side of the road and die. To plan B which is to live every moment of my life to the fullest.

After walking through the fog of grief and the oddness of loving someone in a very different way yet just as strongly. I am living my life.

Even if I do get a chuckle out of it from time to time.

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