Last night was a stressful night at work. I was working one call for about 5 hours. The adrenaline was pumping. So when it was time for me to normally leave, I still had some issues to discuss with my day shift counterpart.
After leaving, I knew the attempt to sleep would be pointless. I knew it would not come until I processed everything. I needed to go back in my mind and make sure everything went according to procedure.
I went and picked up some breakfast, something I don’t normally do if going straight to bed. Then I went to the mountain.
I needed to be high above everything and give the events of the evening time to seep in. I didn’t have anyone to go home to and vocalize things to; to talk about it. There is only one person I wanted to talk with anyway. He had other things to do so I didn’t want to bother him.
While sitting on the mountain, I gazed out over the fog that slung low into the valley below. I sat and watched it come in and dissipate and repeat its march again.
I got out of the car and walked about the place I was parked. I looked for four leaf clovers. I didn’t find any, I quit looking for them long ago because I never could find any but for some reason today, I felt the need to look again. It was an activity that took my mind off what I was dwelling on and honestly, having not done it in many years. I was sort of fun. You thought you had one but when you looked closely, nope just another 3 leaf clover.
As I did this practice alone, I felt my soul calm. I started to feel sleepy, I could now go and lay my head upon my pillow and rest, not just sleep, rest. I could do this knowing I did the best job I could do.
I slept another day away. I woke up just in time to get my shower, get some food and get ready for another shift.