It is the second day of my short week. Yesterday, I slept a good portion of the day away. This is what usually happens on day one. I then got to work. I went and had the oil rotated and the tires changed. I mowed the laundry and washed the grass. I was right on top of things.
I did everything yesterday hoping today would be my fun day; yesterday was “Manic Monday”
Well, life, being what it is, I found myself alone. I slept late, I wanted to go somewhere, but I didn’t. I don’t know if that makes any sense to anyone else or not, I even started somewhere and came back home and took a nap.
Today was a couple of peoples birthdays. My great niece turned 12 and today would have been my cousins birthday. The memorial service for my other cousin was tonight and I just couldn’t. I have to know where my limits are and deal with them accordingly.
I ran into a friend who told me I looked sad. My reply was I’m fine. We both knew I wasn’t. So I went on to explain that it is hard sometimes living in a world where everyone else keeps day time hours and you are a night dweller now.
I was very quite today. Didn’t really have a lot to say to the world; only one person (MY ONE AND ONLY PERSON) and he was busy so when I finally extracted myself from the bed after my nap, I went riding on a road that I ride on a great deal. I took a different route in and stopped somewhere I normally don’t stop.
I took a few photos along the way but what drew me to this spot was that little voice that said turn here. I always listen to that voice, it has yet to fail me.
I walked around looking for what I was supposed to see. I didn’t see anything, then I looked up. I looked back at the ground. This was a different kind of tree I was looking at.
It was a pine tree of some sort. What I noticed was lack of pine cones on the ground. The tree was full. I looked intently for some on the ground only to find none.
I began to examine the tree. I noticed that the pine cones closer to the trunk on the tree were obviously older. They were gray in color, the looked weathered from time.
The next level were gray but not as worn looking.
The further I looked out on the branch the cones turned from gray to brown to green to a spiky little ball that wasn’t yet a cone but with time it would be.
I saw what I would call distinct “generations” of the cones. Not sure how many but I counted four.
I thought about it in human terms using my own family. The one closest to the trunk would be my parents. Still the core of the family but they have weathered the storms of life. They are now the elder generation.
The brown ones would be me and my sister. We have done some living but we still don’t know everything.
The green cones would be my niece and nephew. The ones who think they know everything but still have a lot to learn about life.
The little spiky ones are the 5 little ones that have come along in the last 12 years. They are just beginning.
I took some photos of the tree trying to capture what was burning in my mind. Not sure if I accomplished it as well as I would like, but I tried.
It didn’t turn out to be the day I had hoped for, but for a while, I got outside my own head and looked at something that was awe inspiring. The fact that this tree held these cones for all these years, reminds you that there are things worth clinging to.
When I left, I have explored this spot for about an hour and a half. I just looked at it and thought about it. In my way of looking at life, it was time well spent.