And People Wonder Why I Am The Way I Am…

My folks haven’t seen my hair since I had it colored until today.

My sister had seen it and cast her vote. Not in the positive. “I like the black but not sure about the color”

My mother looked at me and said, “if you like it”.

My dad, well, being a man of few words, but loud of speech,  he cut right to the chase.

“What did you do to your hair?”

“I colored it”

“Well you need to uncolor it”

Growing up in my family, us being simple country folk and all, you didn’t do anything to draw attention to yourself. You don’t rock the boat, you color inside the lines at all times.

Sadly, for them not for me, I have learned that sometimes it is nice to draw attention, from the person I want attention from. The boat sometimes needs to be rocked; it keeps life interesting. And coloring inside the lines, well, that is for sissies.

I have lived too much, I have survived things they have not had to endure up to this point and honestly, I hope they never have to. I have come too far digging into my own soul to worry what folk gots to say bout the color of my hair.

I am thrilled with it, My Person likes it, that’s all that matters.

It is more of a burgundy than the purple I wanted. Lucky for them my hair pulls red when it is colored.  Lord help if I had showed up with purple hair. They would have put a paper bag over my head or something.

Do I second guess myself? Absolutely, all the time. Do I worry about how others are going to view my decisions? Not as much as I once did.

I know that it might have taken them by surprise, it’s not like it is the first surprise they have gotten, it’s just that now, I don’t feel like I need to apologize for every move I make.  I am at peace with this woman I am becoming.

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