My brain is in this weird place since I changed jobs. I changed shifts also. On work nights I do fine. I work at night and sleep during the day. I sleep well during the day. It is on my nights off that I struggle.
On my “short week” is when I do my living. I get to be a semi daytime person. I sleep late but I go get to get out in the daylight and wander about. I take photos, spend time with those I love, mow the yard. I get fresh air and sunshine.
On my long weeks, I get some fresh air and sunshine just not as much.
It is when I am laying in bed at night that get me. The wandering vs. the wondering.
At night is when I am thinking about him (of course), the things I saw during the day, the people I encountered; I am thinking about the projects I am working on, the wedding I am going to shoot in September (take note that it is just April).
I fall into the pintrest rabbit hole.
I question myself on everything.
Just the other night I was sitting on the edge of my bed and I looked over my shoulder into the mirror. I liked what I saw. Tonight, I did the same thing with a different result. I had questions that cropped up in my mind.
People told me this would happen that night brain would take over but right now it is just confused brain. I want to see everything I can while I can.
A guy I went to school with just recently had a severe health problem. He isn’t that much older than I am, it rattled me. I need to make the most of the time I have been given.
I need to take all those chances and do all those things I want to do. Including ….well never mind, some things don’t need to be typed out, maybe I should save that one for my journal.
It is the wee hours of the morning and I am still going strong. I have done looked up some new jewelry ideas, I have chastised myself for not buying the little dragonfly charm I saw yesterday, I thought of something I could have used it for tonight. It isn’t always the great mysteries of life that keep me awake at night, although sometimes those also come into play, it is those little things that rattle around through the muddy waters of my mind bouncing off the pinball flippers that keep them in play and they finally snag on the chewing gum and attache in my brain.
As I am typing this and getting ready to send it into the great abyss of the web, I can feel my eye lids getting heavy. Maybe telling you all about it will allow me to rest a bit. Thanks for listening.