Today threw me off. I went into work late because on the day I was supposed to go in late, I had to go in early.
Add to that I didn’t sleep well last night and I haven’t felt the best in the world, I have not really been able to concentrate on one thing very much.
So tonight, I decided to work on concentrating for a certain amount of time on an object or task.
This is hard for any Gemini to do. We are always jumping from one part of our brain to the other.
I sat in a public parking lot and watched a Christmas tree change colors for a predetermined time.
I focused on a candle flame for a certain amount of time.
I read, I wrote, one thing at a time and focus on that. Don’t allow yourself to be distracted by the I need to be doing this syndrome.
I don’t know if it is because I am working on my next big event and others think I have timed it wrong and the event won’t be so big.
It could be because I need sunshine. It has rained here for what seems like ever.
It might be that I crawled into my own head over Christmas, this happens when I feel isolated and the what if’s are on a roll right now. I am sure this is part of it. A big part of it.
What if I did the wrong thing, what if I said the wrong thing, what if he didn’t like anything I got him for Christmas, what if one of those things brought him pain.
The what ifs eat me alive. I have to be careful not to let them have free reign.
It is not like I can change anything. It’s also not like I can help it. It is part of me. Maybe if I can get a hold of these things and take on one task at a time the what ifs will take a hike.