The past few days, I have been questioning a lot of things.
One of which is my own value. I admit that I am the most insecure person I know.
I have a constant nagging feel that I am not enough.
Today was Halloween, I went over to my nieces house to let her do my face. She did a fantastic job.
I then went to work. We weren’t busy tonight. At one point, I almost dropped a stack of dishes and had to much pretty much throw them down on the sink. That embarrassed the crap outta me. Then of course everyone was looking at me as I silently left the kitchen. I wanted to crawl under the door.
My niece and her family came to eat and I waited on them. Every time I would take something to them the little one would say “Thank You”.
She makes me think of myself in that way. I try to tell the people in my life how grateful I am for them. Most of the time I feel like I fail miserably.
When they got ready to leave, she ran up to me and hugged me so tight. She said, can you go with us or do you still have to stay here.
I burst out crying. I just needed a hug. I just needed to know that my existence matters.
We allow others to beat us down.You notice I said we allow. It means that somewhere deep inside us, we give them permission. As my person says, I am giving other people free rent in my head. I second guess every move I make.
It is something I need to work on. I need me be more sure of my own value.
I truly am going to try to work harder on that. This is a promise I make to myself and I never break a promise.