Spending Time…

Time is our most precious commodity. Once it is spent, there are no refills.

This week I have had a chance to spend time with those I love.

On Sunday, I got to spend the day and into the evening with my person. We laughed, we shopped, we ate with chopsticks, which is not pretty when I am making the attempt. I did however choose to eat the entire meal with chopsticks.

On Monday was my mom’s pre-op and on Tuesday, we made another trip to the doctor, a problem that canceled her surgery.

Wednesday, I got to spend the day with my niece in her environment. She is taking cosmetology at a community college about a half hour from where we leave. I wanted to do something different with my hair so she took me with her. She would be graded on doing my hair this time.

She is very much like me in that she is very personable but also very guarded. You don’t get in until you have proven that you can be trusted. Her life has been very different than mine. She was pregnant in high school and she finished, got her family into school then went on to pursue her dream. I am proud of her for that. She has been through some things that she forgave that honestly, I don’t know if I could. It was her choice and I fully support her.

Our journey began with me meeting her at her home. We dropped her children off at school amid hugs and kisses she was asked if I would be with her when they were picked up.

We went to the college and she left me in the waiting area until she had her space set up.

She set about doing my hair. She was as nervous as I had ever seen her. She did my hair before she started school but now she is more self conscious.

I noticed she apologized a great deal. This made me crazy and then I realized why….we are very much alike.

She does what I do. I am the worlds worst to say I am sorry when I have done nothing, she does the same thing.

She was doing a fine job but if she didn’t do something perfectly. “I’m sorry”. I do that same thing.

We talked while she was doing my hair but not like we do in her bathroom. I knew that she was nervous which made me nervous.

Her instructor would come by and she would ask questions to which she knew the answer. She is very much like me that she knows what to do instinctively but once you give her enough knowledge, she second guesses herself.

I wanted to shake her and i know why, because she is just like me.

It is when I get to overthinking and second guessing myself that I get into trouble. We talked about it on the way home. I told her that I want to say hey it’s just me, we are in your bathroom. No big…..

She said that it is more personal to her when it is someone she knows and I totally get that. I can deal with doing jewelry pieces or photography when I don’t know who the owner will be, when I am making a specialty piece or a photo shoot for people I know. I worry about is it good enough, will they like it, do they think my prices are too high??? All these things run through my mind. I second guess myself.

I told her it must be genetic.  We talked about how she feels like she should wear make up everyday. Not for anyone else but her, but she wants to wear it, even if she is not going to leave the house. I totally respect that.

When we picked her family up from school, I went outside and spent time with the oldest and youngest daughters. We played in leaves, they climbed trees and we took photos.

I got in a leaf fight with the five year old and we laughed loudly. She would throw leaves at me and close her eyes and wait for the handful she knew was coming her way.

Today I spent time with my mom again, I know her surgery is coming soon. We had lunch with my aunt and my cousin and her baby. I got to see my person and that made my heart glad, although, I was worried about my new hair the whole time. I was worried about if he thought it was becoming on me. It has taken me a year to get my courage up to do this and I don’t care what anyone else thinks….I would like for him to think it is attractive though. I am extremely happy with it.

So as I sit here on my porch, enjoying the sunshine, I look back at my week; it has been a week of spending that thing that you can’t get back. You can spend it enduring your allotted time or you can enjoy it, I personally choose to enjoy this thing that we call life.

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