Tonight, I feel somewhat overwhelmed.
My mom’s surgery is this week and her pre-op was today. I have decided I don’t need children, I have parents.
I haven’t had any heat and it has been in the 20’s for the past three nights. My heat can’t be worked on until Wednesday which is the day my mom has her surgery.
I am at the point where I want to sit down and bawl, not that it would help anything.
So tonight instead of saying those two words I wanted to say to him “Hold Me”, I babbled.
I talked about everything I could think of except the one thing I was feeling. That I feel alone and helpless and I just want to be held by someone who cares.
Just to be held, to feel safe and protected. Just for a moment. I won’t see him anymore until this is all over; yet I could not make the words come out of my mouth, so now, I lay alone in my bed crying for the words I did not say.