I don’t go into the lingerie department very much.
Today I went on a shopping trip for me. I was going to go somewhere today. I had been in the house all day yesterday and I needed to go somewhere.
I wanted to go somewhere with my person but he just wanted to chill at home. I gave my best friend a call and a road trip was on.
I tend to forget that the underthings (drawers, bloomers, frillies) that used to fit me, now do not. I am tired of pulling those things out of the drawers (no pun intended) and throwing them in the trash.
I have a few pairs that I have bought since my weight loss but the big out number the small.
So, I needed to go shopping.
I got what I went after. I got more than I went after. Then I saw IT!!!
In the previous chapter of my life, I never purchased lingerie. I might have paid for it but it was picked out to suit someone else’s taste.
After I lost all the weight, I hadn’t purchased anything like this for myself. I had no need of it. Nobody was there to look at it. Nobody cared what I did or did not wear around my house.
There is still nobody here to see it and probably no one care, except for me.
I care, dang it, I care!!! I need to remind myself that I am still alive, I am large but I am still beautiful. I need to feel sexy. Simple as that.
In the former part of my life, when something would be picked out for me, it was the largest size you could get in a retail store and then it was iffy. It might fit, it might not.
So when I picked up this garment today, I told myself it wouldn’t fit. There was no need to buy it, no one would want to see it. It wouldn’t fit. The inner goddess in me told me to get it anyway. If it didn’t fit, it would give me something to shoot for.
So in the buggy it went. My friend looked at me and I said don’t even ask.
I needed to do this for me. I came home and I tried it on. It fit!!! Like a glove it fit. I felt alive in it.
I don’t know if anyone will ever see it. I would like for them to. It is also a step to the thing I truly want to wear.
It may not seem like a step to you, it does to me. I purchased something that I wanted, that suited my taste, just for me.