My mom had a test run a while back. She needs a little bit of a tune up. She has been putting off a decision and life has helped her delay. First time, she had an infection in her foot. Second time she had pneumonia. Now, she has made her decision.
She has opted for surgery. Okay, go into battle mode. Talk to people who have had this same procedure…. even better yet, talk to their children. They will tell you. So, I did.
I tell my mom the name of the doctor someone she knows went to and she takes the name to her doctor who talks to other doctors. Next thing you know, you are going next Tuesday. Now, we have a plan. You gotta have a plan, you gotta work the plan.
In the mean time, you are dealing with life. You have to put on your happy face and go on.
Been here and done it. More than I want to remember.
I tell them at work the day I need to be off, I tell them that any meetings and such will have to be worked around the surgery. I may not be able to fulfill other obligations for a few days. This after all is my mom.
This is when I go quite. I don’t say much. I keep to my inner circle informed. This is what is happening, this is when it is happening. I don’t give them anymore information than that. Simply because, I don’t have anything else to give them.
I work in two public jobs. They don’t need to know that inside I want to puke. Although, some have called me out on it this week. “You look tired” “Why are you walking around with your head down ??” You don’t think people notice but they do…..
I have to put on my happy face.
I can’t let my mom know I am stressing about the surgery. It was her decision, I laid the facts on the table and a decision has been made. She is finally being proactive. She is finally saying No, this time it is about me. You need to work your schedule around me. Good for her!!! Dang good for her, I don’t think she has ever said that. It has always revolved around everyone else and she fit in where some could make time for her. It is totally about her. This puts the happy on my face. She had sat in silence for too long.
We will go and get this taken care of. She will be fine. And all the while, we’ll put on our happy face, even if we cry in private, even if we have fears to which we never give a voice, we will go on and for everyone else, we will put on a happy face.