Today was a sick day for me. I just haven’t felt up to par the last couple of day.
I worked on a couple of projects, laid on the couch and read, and I daydreamed…..about him.
When I daydream he is always there. When I dream at all he is always there.
I thought about our day on Sunday and the time we had spent together. I thought about the meal we had shared and the dessert we had split and as clumsy as it was how I tried to flirt. I don’t even know if he knew I was making the attempt. I thought about what he was doing with his day and if he was okay.
I thought how he is the only person I would want to come into my space and see how I am in my soul.How I thrive in my space as cluttered and messy as it is, I would want him to be here. To see the me that no one else is allowed to see. To see who I am and what I do when I create something new. I want to share that part of me with him but I don’t ask for fear he would tell me no. He knows me far better than anyone else. I keep nothing from him; Everything I am, I enjoy, I pursue… I share with him.
He is my person. He is who I long to spend time with. He is the one who makes my heart smile. He is the knight in battered armor in Chapter 2 of my life. I say battered armor because shining armor has not seen hardship and battles. Battered armor has protected him during battle so that he could reach this time and this place.
I wrote some after my daydreaming. I want him to read those writings some day, when I get my nerve up. Until then, I will just daydream.