There has been a situtation that has been giving me a great deal of stress. It is work related. I have been trying to make everyone else happy only to add to my own misery.
I have been made to feel like I am inept, unappreciated, unnecessary and down right abused at times. I have been talked down to and yelled at for something that I had no part in and no control over.
I have tried to suck it up and hold it in and not say so much about it. I broke.
It is time for me to make some changes. For the first time I have thrown my hands up in the air and declared that I surrender. There is nothing I can do that will make them happy, so I have just quit trying. I will treat these people with the same respect I am given. You yell at me, you are going to get yelled back at. You treat me like I am invisible, I can do the same. I don’t want to be like this but Miss Keep the Peace at all cost is gone. She packed her crap in couple of boxes and she hit the road.
Yesterday, I saw one of the people who have treated me in this manner reach her breaking point. She was saying the very same thing was being done to her and in her words she felt like a dog being kicked. She looked at me and said Do you know how that feels. I said I sure do. Maybe it is time to make some changes.
I did feel sorry for her. She doesn’t combine her work life with her private life. We don’t know any of her friends. The comment was made that she had friends that she talked to and she didn’t want us to think she was sad and pathetic. I know how she feels. Like me, she goes home to an empty house every night and when you do that you do dwell on things. You can’t really get it out of your system to someone. You can talk to your friends, your mom, your person but still you dwell on it.
After a while it takes it’s toll on your mind, your body and your spirit.
I felt sorry for her simply because the way someone else was making her feel was the way she has made me feel for over a month. It is beginning to take it’s toll on me. I have to protect me.
I can’t tell her what she needs to do. It is her choice to make. Just like I had to make my choice.
I don’t want anyone to be miserable. Sometimes things happen that we have no control over and others actions cause more than one person to suffer as in this case.
I tried to encourage her. I don’t know if I did. I did my best. That is all any of us can do.
I guess her driving me to the point of breaking was breaking her at the same time. Because what she was saying, was exactly the same way I felt. Hopefully, she can get it worked out and can do what she wants to do. I wish her the best and hope she can do what she is doing until she wants to leave, I am already there. Just not sure where the wind will take me next. That’s the great thing about the future, you don’t know what adventure just might be around the next curve n the road.