I have lots of conversations during a days time. Some of them I carry with me, some I walk away carrying parts of the conversation and others are pretty just talk.
The three primaries in my world, I carry more away from conversations with them than any others. These are the core of my inner circle. They are the people I trust.
These are the people I have the closest bonds with. My person, my mom and my best friend.
Yesterday, there was a conversation that I was involved in, that one sentence seared into my brain like a branding iron.
The statement was “Some times I don’t know if people want to be seen as mysterious and alluring or the church lady”.
It was a conversation about photography but still, it made me think.
I am a woman. I am a woman of faith. I am also a woman who wants one certain person to desire her. I want to be alluring to that person. I admit it.
I don’t put myself out there and say here I am, please feel free to think it is okay to put your hands on my body. Having said that , in a mutual loving, committed, respectful relationship, it is different. I want that person who loves me and whom I love to put their hands on my hips and pull me to them planting a kiss on my lips. I do!!! But anyone else touches me, they will be avoided. Found that out recently when I was waiting tables.
Take time to get to know me. Know that I have body issues, know that I am insecure about a lot of things yet I will fight to the death for you if I love you. Know that I am smart at some things and other things I will overthink to death. Understand who I am on the inside first.
I was married for 18 1/2 years. In that time, I was ummmmm…the more adventurous.
Do I think you can be the church lady and be alluring? Absolutely!!!
It is not an either/or thing. You can be both.