I am a rough and tough gal. I grew up on a farm where you worked and you worked hard.
When my late husband became sick, we “switched roles” easily. He couldn’t do the outside yard work any longer so he did the cooking, cleaning and laundry. I did the mowing and weed eating.
It worked for us. Now, it is all for me to do. The yard work comes easily for me. I enjoy it. The indoor chores are just that a chore.
I would rather be outside I want to be in the sunshine. I enjoy working outside, I’ve done it all my life. I have a farmers tan that won’t quit.
I have had to be strong so long that at time I forget how to be soft. I am not the coy, flirty kind of woman.When I try to flirt, I am quite sure it is comical. I am not helpless. I can do for myself. With all that being said….
I like to be told I am pretty, that my hair and makeup look nice. I only want to hear it from one person though. Just one. The one. I went through the drive thru this morning and the lady working the window said “Well you just look beautiful.” I cried.
Okay, I am going though that rough patch in life called menopause. I was talking to some younger women about it yesterday. We were comparing notes. They made a comment about me being old. I said, Honey, I may be old, I ain’t dead. I can still take care of business”.
No matter how old you are you want to feel wanted, loved and yes desired. You want to know you still have “it”.
When I told one of these young women that I wasn’t dead. She being a direct young lady said, I am not the one you need to be telling that.
Yes, sometimes, you have to remember that even though you can work like a man, deep in your core you are a WOMAN. You have wants, needs, and desires. It is perfectly normal to have these. It proves that even though your life was ripped apart by prolonged sickness and finally the death of the person you thought you would be with for the rest of your life, you can laugh again, you can live again, you can love (in every possible way) again.
This afternoon, after a family function, I went to a place I wanted to take my person, I got some ice cream, looked at some metal sculptures, rode along a scenic highway and blared country music. All that was missing was my shot gun rider.
It feels pretty amazing to look up at a face of someone you knew toward the end Chapter One and know in your heart that you can be in love with them in Chapter 2. It just goes to show that you can love and feel like a woman again. A woman who has to remind herself to take that chance and love again.