The last few days I have been reading through some of my old journals.
I was looking for one particular entry. I found it. It was from October 24, 2012.
I am huge fan of journaling. I took to writing in a journal when chapter 2 of my life began. I have given a journaling workshop at our local library.
As, I reread these writings, some of them were hard to read, some of them made me cry, some made me smile, others made my laugh, there were some that made me angry.
I told the people when they reread their journals to do so with kindness toward themselves and others.
This was tough for me to do for myself. There was a time in my life that I done some really stupid things. I took some chances that were too quick in my new journey. There were things I did that were not safe, simply because I didn’t see the value in myself at that time.
It took someone else seeing the value in me and telling me how they saw me for me to see a value in myself.. At that time I had no purpose, no passion, no reason to go on living. Thankfully, that person said the right thing at the right time.
That person is my person. He saw me when I was invisible, He sees a beauty in my that I sometimes can’t see in myself.
He is a huge part of my story. Those are the silly smiles I get when I reread my journey. I still feel butterflies. That is okay. Life is about the butterflies. Those little feelings that start in your stomach and work their way up to your heart and suddenly, your heart is beating like it has butterfly wings. Then it reaches your face and you try to hide the silly grin working it’s way across your mouth and then it is in your eyes and there is no way for you to hide that….unless you wear sunglasses all the time.
I found what I was looking for. It took a while for the wish I wrote d own that day to come true. It did. And it was even better than I had wished for .