When You Get Things On Your Mind…

There has been a great deal of stress on the fringes of my life. It doesn’t directly have to do with me, but it does the people I love. Waiting for medical results for my cousin. Trying to make sure my little people are okay. Trying to be there for those who need me, as best I can, not letting them see how it affects me.

I am so mentally and emotionally tired that I  am starting to let things slip.

In the midst of all this, I was asked to share my photography in an exhibit where I work. That’s cool. Unless you have to sit in the room with it and wonder what people are thinking.

You may hear some great comments, you may also hear some that are painful. You may hear nothing, which is by far worse. Remember, I am the girl who equates silence with death.

It was put up this morning. All day I looked at titles and the images themselves. I will admit I changed some of the titles at the last minute and I questioned if I “played it safe” with some of the images. I want them to tell a story. That is what I do, I share my journey in Chapter 2 of my life through the images I collect along the way.

I share that journey with you through this blog. I write in my journal. I write about my fantasies in another journal, the last two are not for public perusal.

Only one person has seen in my journal. Nobody has seen my other writings. Although , I would like to share them with that same person but I have to KNOW they are ready to receive them.

Those are a means of understanding me. Both of them.

I’m not sure what the viewers of my photography will see when they look at the images. Hopefully it will be thought provoking or make someone feel something.  Otherwise I have failed.

I didn’t have but two days to get it all together. It was give to me at a time when my mind and my hands needed to be busy to think about what I needed to do for me.

My body is also telling me to do something else for myself. I am giving myself the night off. I will eat a light dinner in just a few moments. I will curl up in my bed and write in one of my journals. The question is do I  need to decompress, escape to my fantasy world, or both.

Sometimes you need to face life and sometimes you need to escape into that place that only you know.

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