I have three little people in my world who are going through one of the most painful things that a child can go through. They are confused, scared, worried.
They are not having a childhood right now, they are existing in a world where grown-ups should be just that.
These little ones let me come to their house and play when I was trying to find my way. I would go and visit them and they would help me laugh when I wanted to cry. They wanted me to play. They wanted to hear me laugh. They wanted everything to be okay for me again. They love me.
So today, after a long weekend, with everyone telling me I had run myself ragged something told me to go visit these little people.
I went. They were sitting in the house on a beautiful afternoon. I said, what are you all doing sitting in the house on a beautiful day like this? I am going outside to play.
Well, that was all it took. they were out of the house like a shot. We kicked a soccer ball around. It wasn’t much. It was just allowing them to laugh when they want to cry. For a moment, all was right in their world. For them it was a moment of normalcy.
We played for a while and I asked the older children something about playing soccer. She said “We used to”. I said Well, now that I am slowing down a little bit, I’ll come over and we will play.
I gave the them notebooks and said here is something in case you need to write anything down. I didn’t tell them it was in case they needed to write down how they are feeling. There are things you don’t want to say out loud, no matter how old or young you are. You just can’t or won’t speak what you are feeling. The older one who knows how much I value journaling, which is kind of how this blog started, said Look, a journal. I have always wanted one.
She will use it for that. She was writing in it before I left. The younger of the children came over to me and asked me to pick them up. I did. They hugged my neck and said I love you. You are my best friend.
I held them back until I got into the car but once there. I cried. I cried a lot. Little people shouldn’t have such big hurts.