I don’t know why I am in this reflective state I am in. But I am here. What am I going to learn from it??
This afternoon has been a painful one.I have cried a good bit, I basically wallowed in it. I kind of know why but I can’t exactly put my finger on it.
I have rambled back in time. I have wandered back to my childhood even. I was looking through some old photos. I found one of me as a little girl. I looked at her. Who is she? Is she still in here somewhere? She is 4 years old. She is living some of the best years of her life, because she is kept safe and protected.
She doesn’t realize how tough life is going to be. She is loved and cherished. The youngest of two daughters being raised by hard working parents.
I wish I could go back and tell her some things. Don’t ride your bike and try to fly a kite, there will be scars. Don’t get too close to the dog when people tell you not to, there will be scars. You will meet the right man at the right time and you will fall in love. You will lose this man way too soon. There will be scars.
I want to tell her that she is beautiful, smart and stronger than she even knows. That she can do anything and everything she sets her mind on.
She may not see life the way others see it, she may not do things they way others think she should, she is okay with that.
I would tell her to be tough. People can sense weakness and they surely will use it against you.
I would tell her that she will cry more tears than anybody ever should and I will tell her that also is okay. Lay down in the corner and cry until you have no tears left. Scream, Yell, Ask WHY!!! Ask for answers.
I would also tell her, Darling get up. This is not who you are. You are stronger than this. You have wings. You are going to fly. Now get up, straighten up your face. Tomorrow is a new day. Most of all though sweet girl, learn those lessons life is teaching you. You won’t be young forever and life is like a river flowing from one place to the other. You can sink or you can swim. Now swim!!!!