Life takes it’s toll on you. At this point, things are busy in my world. There is a great deal of travel coming up in the next couple of weeks. This would be great, if….it weren’t to travel back and forth to training sessions and workshops. I will ride or drive an hour and a half to three hours depending on the location. I will sit in classes all day and I will…..come back home, brain tired. 7 trips out of town in 2 weeks. Along with trying to implement new programming.
I am not complaining, I just feel like a rubber band. I am stretched. Really, really stretched. I have so much on my plate that I am not enjoying the things I love to do right now. I love to paint, do photography, write, make things, create.
I have been asked to do Valentine’s portraits at a local business and not having done indoor portrait photography, I am, at best, ill equipped and ill prepared. I need to get studied up really quickly.
I know I have people who are rooting for me to succeed in the task. I have people who believe in me but slowly and silently the doubts are starting to creep in.
I went to see my niece and her family this evening and we were talking about it. I said “They might have wanted to get someone besides a widow to do Valentine’s photos”. My niece looked at me and said “They didn’t get a widow. They got someone who is extraordinary.”
I don’t feel extraordinary. I know extraordinary (my person is extraordinary).
I feel like I should rethink this but the advertising is already out. I feel like I want to spread my wings and fly. I feel, at best, ordinary. With most things, I feel less than stellar. I will figure out a way to make it work, I haven’t voiced my fears to anyone but her. Probably the three people I am closest to know the fear is lurking under the surface and I am trying to stifle it. I probably don’t even have to say it. They know it is there.
It was just an idea until I set the date and the time then suddenly, it is a real thing. It is going to happen. Some things in my life I am sure of. My expertise to pull this off is not one of them.
I see accomplishment in the things I am trying to learn.Not huge strides but baby steps. I want to see advancement in the things I already know. I want freedom to explore and travel, and I want love. I love my person, love my friends, love my family, and trying to love my life.
Blessings come in many forms. They can be scary, because they involve change. They may not come in the manner which we would expect them to appear. They are blessings and some times they come in ways we cannot and do not understand.