I have learned a great number of new things in my life. I guess I have learned much more in Chapter 2. It is not a place I wanted to be. It is not a place I planned to be. It is however my life.
Like I said last night, I feel like I have to work harder to catch up to everyone else. My thought process is different that others. It takes me a little longer. I get more intimidated with new things but I try,
Luckily, last night when trying something new on the project I was working on, not knowing what I am doing, my person was there to let me struggle, stumble and then advise. He is letting me learn as I go. He is oh so patient. He is so much smarter at things than I am. Learning new things is important to me.
Someone who didn’t know what the project is, was there. I explained what I was wanting to do, he had another idea, that honestly I hadn’t thought of..
I got excited at the possibility of where this could go, then the deep breath came. That overwhelming feeling came back in. At that point, I took another deep breath, looked at my person and said “One Step At A Time”. He agreed with me but also reminded me of how big it could be.
Everything you do is one step at a time. EVERYTHING!!!
You try, you fail, you try again.
Just like life, the project I am working on will take many different turns. I have to do things now, that before I had help with. I am not good at asking questions. I have been asked many uncomfortable questions in chapter 2. I don’t like asking for help. I don’t want to appear weak. Some say asking for help is a sign of strength, not a sign of weakness. In my view, it depends on what you are talking about. Prime example. I have to have my car worked on today. My best friend is going with me to make sure I don’t sit in the auto shop for hours. Before, there would have been someone to go with me, without me asking for help. That is not the case now.
I told my snarky little brother figure the other day that I am pretty independent. He looked at me with this pretend look of shock on his face and said “Really”??
I want to ask my person something and right at this moment, I am fearful. I want to see him New Years Eve. I want us to grab a pizza, I want us to go somewhere quite and I want us to talk. This is not a big plan. It is not going to Times Square or some big party, it is just spending time together. We both know I treasure the time we spend together. That time is far more valuable than gold or precious jewels. It is what I want. It is what i am afraid to ask for. It is one of those things I will figure out, one step at a time.