I normally don’t do two blog posts in one day but I need to do this while it is fresh in my mind.
Today is Christmas and I had planned to make a new memory but that wasn’t meant to be. I had planned some things for my time off from work. I wanted to take one day to do some photography. My plan was to do it Friday. Yesterday, a friend who is having a hard time asked me if I would like to go out for a meal with him on Friday. I said yes. I know what it is like to need to talk to someone. Another couple of friends left me a message that they are going hiking on Friday and asked me if I would like to go along. So I adjusted and went for the photography trip today.
I slipped out of the fuzzy blanket I was relaxing in most of the day and I got into my photography clothes.
I got into the car and went on my way. I was prepared for this journey. Everything that I needed. I was sure this was going to be a great trip. It was interesting. That is the best word I can think of.
I never took the camera out of the bag. I had on my boots that I had bought for myself as the first Christmas gift in Chapter 2 of my life. It has become a tradition that I buy myself something for Christmas so I have something to open Christmas morning.
That first Christmas I bought myself a pair of Levi’s and a pair of Justin boots. They were my first cowboy boots. I am trying to retire them. They are coming apart. They are slick on the bottom. The heels are worn. It is time.
I thought yesterday was the day, but as I started out this morning, I slipped them on one last time. I am not sure if they took me or I took them on a farewell tour, either way, we retraced some of the many steps we went over the past 4 years.
It started out at the local high school walking around the track. These boots made many laps around this track. On those days when I couldn’t face the world, when I had to make myself take a step, these boots took them with me.
I went and walked one of my favorite trails. I had to be careful how I stepped. I surely didn’t want to be on the trail and slip and fall.
I went to some of my favorite overlooks on the scenic highway that I drive a lot. I went to some of my favorite overlooks. I stood there and thought of the journey that my boots had taken me on.
As I stood at the last overlook. It was one that you had to park and walk out . As I stood there and I looked at where people had left their mark on the rock work. I don’t agree with this but it I stood and read names, declarations of love, promises to be together forever. Looking down I saw the following, spray painted at my feet…. “Born 2 Lose”.
It hasn’t been there for long. I go there often. I wondered about it. I wondered about the person who felt this way about themselves. I know what it is like to feel like you are never going to see daylight again. These boots I was wearing had carried me through some of those days.
As I turned to leave, I said a prayer for the person. I don’t know their name, I don’t know their story and it honestly isn’t my business. I just know they needed someone to remember them.
Another memory made wearing my boots. Now, I am going to try to pack them away. Remembering the journey that we have taken together. The steps we have taken together. The fact that as they were wearing out, they were allowing me to grow stronger.
It has truly been an incredible journey.