It all begins on the inside…

I haven’t written in a while. It has been a bit stressful in my world. That is when my journal and the people in my circle get to hear about my life. Some things you just don’t want to share with the entire world.

Yesterday, I had an interesting conversation. One of the people who come into the library was talking to me about her daughter. The mom was talking about how she, the daughter,  was in a bad marriage that she was made to feel badly about herself and she was now overweight. The lady said that she had told both her daughters that if they would loose a certain amount of weight, she would take them on a $200.00 shopping spree.

Having been overweight most of my life and at one point was consider “morbidly obese”, by the way I would much rather be called fat than obese. This, to a concerned parent seems like a good idea, We after all live in an incentive based society. Everybody gets a prize, a trophy, a whatever. We are all winners. We are all level. No we’re not. There are winners and losers in every competition. We are not all level, there are the haves and the have nots. Not that it should be this way but it is. That is life.

I told this concerned mother of this 20 to 30 year old woman that I didn’t know what it felt like to be in a bad marriage. I was treated with love and respect, that he thought I was beautiful when I was much larger than I am now. That someone who truly loves you, loves you warts, wrinkles, fat and all.

We continued to talk and she told me more about the situation,  how that her daughter  was made to feel by this man that if she left him that she would never find anyone who will want her because she is fat and ugly. I wasn’t spoken to that way in my marriage so I don’t know how that would feel, I have however been told by someone (early on in Chapter 2 of my life) who just wanted a body that if I didn’t sleep with him, I should get used to being alone. My response  to him was well I guess I’ll just get used to being alone.

Respect starts with yourself. If you don’t respect yourself, you can not respect others. You have to care enough about yourself to wait for that person who thinks you are the cats meow. If you don’t care enough about me to respect me and learn about me and what makes me tick, I have enough respect for myself to walk away.

I wanted to tell this lady not to try to bribe her daughter to loose weight. I wanted to tell her to build her daughter up on the inside, remind her how wonderful her inside is and it will begin to show on her outside. Tell her how much she has to offer someone who is able to see beneath this earthly form we live in and see her heart and her soul.

I can testify that it is worth it. If you find that person who connects with your soul, they will fight hell itself for you. It has to begin on the inside though, You have to know your worth. You have to see yourself as the priceless treasure you are. YOU ARE A LIMITED EDITION. A ONE OF A KIND WORK OF ART MADE BY THE MASTER CREATOR HIMSELF.  Treat yourself as such, do not settle for someone who doesn’t see how amazing you are.

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