Yesterday I sat in my car and watched a bird attempting to fly across the sky. I say attempting because it was struggling.
Where I was sitting, the wind was not blowing Not a leaf on the trees were moving. My car window was down and all was quite and still here on the ground.
This bird seemed to be fighting the battle of it’s life though. I was being teetered to this side and tottered to that side. It couldn’t make any headway for trying to just maintain it’s course.
I truly understood how that bird felt. Oddly enough, I had told a friend yesterday that if there was any choice to pick what you would be, I would come back as a bird. Birds just eat and fly over us looking down at the world below; Birds didn’t feel alone. Birds didn’t stress. Birds were birds. A crow doesn’t compare itself to a blue jay.
I have a bad habit of not looking at my positives because I look at others and go, yeah, look at her. She is so pretty, thin, smart, funny. I may not be thin enough to suit me but I am pretty enough, I am smart, I am funny (when I quit stressing long enough to relax). I have a loving nature and try to treat others the way I would like to be treated. I do the best I can with what God gave me to use.
So as I watch this bird try to pick it’s way through the invisible barriers, I thought about us humans. I can only speak for myself when I say that I know how it felt. We all have barriers and hurdles to overcome. They may be seen obstacles. Some may be unseen. Like those moments when you feel like wall paper in a room full of people or invisible. Trying to do your best and still feeling like it is not enough. Sitting by while people take the credit for all your hard work. This happened to me yesterday and this person got all the “I don’t see how you do what you do” comments. I just let it roll off me anymore. One day when I get to follow my dreams and truly fly…..and I will…. people will see who done what.
Life is too short to be encumbered by others peoples petty behavior. If they need their ego stroked that badly, they are in worse shape than I am. I am fighting my own wind currents trying to learn to fly. Luckily, when I feel I am crashing to the ground, I have people to tell me to go after those dreams with all the gusto I have in me. People who love me and care about my well being, these are the same people that when they need me, I come running. They are the wind beneath my wings. Some people in my world challenge me to overcome those torrential wind gusts. Others nudge me along. Some stand silently by me and just let me know they are there. Like when I suddenly disappear from sight, they come to check on me and make sure I am okay.
That person who makes you want to get out of bed every day. You might not even see them but the hope you might just even get a glimpse of them makes you want to get your day started. You don’t have to see the eyes that mesmerize you. You don’t have to hear their voice that soothes your soul and calms your fears, you just get a glimpse in passing and that is good enough…..for now.
I want to fly and be that confident woman I know I can be. I will go to battle for others but not for myself. I want to battle my fears and win. i want to face those air currents and win. I want to reach my goals in my personal life and in my professional life. I am not greedy, I am not cut throat. I try to live a life that should I look God in the face this very day, I can stand and say I did the very best I could. I want to live a life doing what I want to do with the one by my side who shares that dream with me.
Like that bird, I get beat up from time to time and sadly, my own fears cause the beating I take most of the time. I let my fear be bigger than my faith.God has a plan for my life and when I try to force my wants over his will, I hit those currents. That is when I get those wind gusts that seemingly blow me off course. Maybe if I just chilled a little more, didn’t stress as much, just go with his plan, maybe I wouldn’t battle as much.
If you are in this cycle as I am, agree with me that this is not good for us and lets also agree to fly like we have never flown before. We will reach our destination. We just may take a little longer to get there than most. We will just take the scenic route and it will only make our wings stronger so we can fly higher and farther.
Til next time….keep flying high!!!