Through the Looking Glass

Through the Looking Glass compressed

You know by now that I am a country girl. I have lived in the same town all my life and I have not traveled very much. I have never been on an airplane. Never really given it much thought.

This has been one of those weeks that I have been stuck in between the proverbial devil and the gate post. Seems like I am trying to play mediator on several fronts and I don’t like it. It stresses me out. So,  as I told my friend this morning, God has put me in time out. Here is what I mean…

Sometimes the voice of the world screaming negativity in you ears drowns out the words of the people God has put into your life to encourage you and believe in you. You hear all the wrong so much that you can’t see that you are doing anything right. You wonder if you even matter. You question if you make a difference in the lives of those you see on a regular basis.

You know you serve a purpose, we are all here for a reason and a purpose. You are not reading these words by accident. You may have stumbled across it “by accident”, but someone bigger than us is giving me the grace to be honest about how I am feeling and guided you to this page. Thanks for stopping by.

So two days out of five, I was in the car alone, for an extended period of time. No one to talk to. No outside noise except the radio. I couldn’t bounce ideas off my person or tell him my troubles. My best friend wasn’t in the car to joke around with. My great nieces weren’t in there to ask a million questions as we went down the road. I was in a confined space, doing what I do when I need to think. Driving. A lot of driving or so it seems. Not really that much more than I would do any given week, just for different reasons.

The first town I went to was not much different from my own.It was a nice trip. A long day but fun. The next two days was when I felt the squeeze of my work life. I told my person I wanted us to pack bags and take our show on the road. I will explain that more. Thursday, I took the day off, for my own sanity and the safety of others.

Friday was another road trip. This one was to a much bigger town than I live in. I would call it a city. Once again, I was in the car alone for an extended period of time. Finally, I prayed and said, “God, you know I didn’t plan on being here. This was not a planned part of my life. I don’t know the path you have me on. I don’t even pretend to understand but  I know your plan is bigger than mine. I trust you to work your plan in my life”.

Well, as I walked around this city, once I got through all the traffic jams, I saw people very different from me. I saw buildings that I have seen before but in the fog that I was in I never noticed them. I did this yesterday. I saw things that I don’t get to see but I long to see like art. I am not an artist by any stretch of the imagination but I do love to study art. To see what has been born in someone’s mind come to life on a canvas or a sculpture. It amazes me!!!

I have this thing for trains. I saw two different types of trains this week.  Not a huge thing for most but once again something I enjoy that I don’t get to see.

I am in flux. I feel like there is another step for me. I also feel that this step includes my person. I feel like there are many reasons that we have been brought together. I feel like it will involve travel but keeping home as home base.

I am not throwing this out through space and time to try to bend God’s will to mine. Frankly, I scares the crap out of me. I live in the house my grandmother lived in. I have a job that I enjoy, most of the time. What am I thinking?? Why are the muses trying to bend me like a pretzel? Look here, do this, this person is going to ask you about this, this person is going to overhear a conversation and offer you this opportunity.

It is scary. I don’t know the plan. I don’t question it either. I have learned that life doesn’t give us what we want. It gives us what it gives us and how we deal with it, that is up to us. It is okay to be scared outside our comfort zone. That stroll through the looking glass, well it was magical for Alice right???


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