Being A Woman of A Certain Age

I am 46 years old. I am at the age where my body is changing from child bearing age. I am beginning menopause, the change. I think of the Golden Girls episode where Blanche was going through “THE CHANGE”. Now, I am realizing it was spot on.

For all you women younger than myself, just wait, your turn will come. For you men, read carefully. It will explain a great deal.

When this cycle starts, you realize that you have to me more careful about what and when you eat because weight gain is most assured. Your body doesn’t process food the same way it used to. I am already making this adjustment. I am drinking even more water than I did before, eating less and moving more. That is the easy part. There are times when things hurt that didn’t used to hurt and you get those little surprise visits from “your aunt” who used to visit the same time every month.

The hot flashes…, you have a furnace running on hot with all the fans blowing. You can’t get naked enough to cool off. I told a friend of mine yesterday I was going to do a stand up comedy routine on this portion of my life..

When the hot flashes hit you can be standing in your birthday suit, with the air conditioner running full blast, the house full of fans and standing there with the freezer door open and still sweat buckets. Then there are the night sweats.

The emotional toll it takes is much worse. I am a very sensitive person. A song can change my whole day. So at this point in my life, I can be fine and suddenly burst into tears. This happened to me on Sunday. I cried all through church Sunday night Something was bothering me but it was normally something I could deal with. I came home and cried a river. I said to myself get up and do something. You can’t sit down and die.

Not having anyone in the house to talk to, it does make it much harder. I am being honest. There are times I would love to pick up the phone and call someone and just say, I need to talk. But others are busy with their own lives.

In Chapter One of my life, if my husband went quite, I had done something to upset him. We never fought about it, he just went mute. That was the one thing that always bugged me. The only thing.  In Chapter 2 of my life, if one certain person goes mute, I just assume I have done something to cause it and I spend time trying to figure out what I have said or done. It is a carry over.I can’t help it, although I try very hard to assure myself it is nothing I have done. This is my own insecurity staring me square in the face. Nothing to do with them at all.

Then there is the anger when I feel that I am being misused. I am in a position where those higher in position over me, like to remind me of this while shirking their own duties and expecting me to pick up the slack while doing my job I bend over backward to be helpful and kind but when I have had enough, I can rip your throat out and show it to you I didn’t used to be like that. I have to learn how to let things roll off me while not being rude or insensitive. I have to do it for me.

I have read that getting older is not for sissies. I will give that one a big AMEN!! So men, if you see your woman crying and you ask her what is wrong and she says I don’t know, she is being honest. When this happens, here are the following steps to take.

1- Be patient, time will take care of things. It will take TIME though.

2- Love her, She can’t help it. She truly can’t.

3- Don’t take anything negative she says personally.Five minutes later, she will be saying she is sorry over and over.

4- Feed her chocolate and buy her flowers for no reason – She will love you for that.


I am not a doctor or psychologist. Nor have I ever played on on TV, I am just a woman tiptoeing through the mine field that is ‘THE CHANGE”.


2 thoughts on “Being A Woman of A Certain Age

  1. I am a year behind you but right with you on the night sweats. I have the Vornado ‘Zippi’ fan on my nightstand, where I am alternately freezing and sweating buckets! My husband is getting used to me turning that fan on around 3 am ever night!

    Liked by 1 person

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