Today was the day where every employee I work with from four counties get together for Staff Development Day. It is a fun day but you have to travel and you don’t know why but for some reason, you just dread it..
I had to get up earlier this morning than usual. I was standing in the shower, washing my hair and I had a flash back. I have those from time to time. See the squiggly lines and a mist……..
The day my late husband was diagnosed with cancer, he had gone for a scan of a tumor on his spine.
We had gone to a larger hospital about 75 miles from where we lived. We had stopped a couple of places in the town we were in and then we had stopped to get something to eat. We were eating in the car because he was hurting. As we were eating our lunch my cell rang. I answered and the voice on the other end said “This is Dr. (Insert his name here). Where are you at?? I said we are still in town. He said Return to the hospital immediately. Your husband has a tumor pressing on his spine that could literally paralyze him. I have called in the radiation oncologist and he will have a massive dose of radiation tonight. I can’t stress how important it is that he be handled gently. If you had gotten him home, I would have him brought back in an ambulance.”
I was trying to remain calm and listen to what the doctor was telling me, after hanging up the phone lost my mind. My husband who was always the voice of reason, said I am not going anywhere until I finish my sandwich. He was never flustered. I had just explained to him that he had a tumor on his spine and he could be paralyzed. He was going to eat his sandwich?? He didn’t get in a hurry. I didn’t have good cell signal where I was. I went to a shopping center near by so I could call the place where I worked and let them know that we were here for the long haul. I called my dad to let him know that my mother who was with us would not be returning home that night . Then I called my sister and my pastor.
I was on the phone bawling and being asked questions I did not know the answers to. I was just trying to take care of what I needed to do. My mom was sitting in the car with him and in the middle of one of the phone calls, I heard “Honey, come here!!” This man never yelled so in the middle of a sentence I hung up the phone. He said “Why are you upset?” I said “They just told us you have cancer!!” He looked at me and said “Hasn’t God been with us every step of the way???” I said yes. He said “So what makes you think he is going to leave us now???” I didn’t have an answer. I just got back into the car and drove him back to the hospital. He was with us through that journey and he is still with me today and every day.
This morning, as clear as a bell, I heard my late husband say “God has been with us this far, why do you think he is going to leave us now??” I didn’t scare me. I guess sometimes you just need to be reminded that you are never alone.
What I didn’t know, was that his only remaining aunt had passed away last night. Not that I am close with his family. I am not. They didn’t treat him like family while he was here so…… I got that call on the way to the meeting I was attending today.
When we get to the meeting, a group of presenters were talking about how people come along and make a difference in our lives. I thought of my person. He has made such an impact in chapter 2 of my life. The man who owns the company who was presenting to us told of the person who changed his life forever and his life would have taken a very different turn if this person hadn’t entered his life. As he told his story, I thought of my person and tears rolled down my cheek. Not sad tears, those of thankfulness, of gratitude, yes those of love. I am in love with my person!!!
If you feel you are alone, don’t. Someone is being prepared to come into your life to make a difference. You might even get a gentle reminder that you are not in this battle you are facing alone, from those you can’t see with your natural eye. You may meet a perfect stranger who doesn’t know you but says something to remind you that someone somewhere cares for you more than you even know. You may fall down, but stand up and fight again. You are totally worth it!!