I am a chronic worrier. I am always worried that I say or do the wrong things. I will say I am sorry and beat myself up for days if I feel like I have in any way wronged anyone. I love with every fiber of my being. I am not afraid to tell people how much they mean to me, because sometimes you never get that chance again. Too often, too late is very true. I fear losing those I love and I dream big. I aim for the stars when i am passionate about someone or something.
I am my own worst enemy, I let things eat on me until I make myself physically ill at times. I am insecure (but that is getting better). I am a woman, with all these faults and failures. I am a woman, with all my curves and my tender heart I am a woman.
When I think about strong, brave, gutsy women, Amelia Earhart comes to my mind. Think about it. Women then were not supposed to fly. She was the 16th woman ever to be issued a pilots license. She was the first to fly over the Atlantic.She was a passenger for a male pilot however. She kept the flight log.
Amelia did eventually fly solo across the Atlantic. Then came that moment when she decided that she would fly around the world. She left Oakland, Ca. on June 1, 1937 with her navigator. July 3, 1937 was the last time she was heard from.
How scared was she when she took off on this journey?? How long did it take her to talk herself into it?? How much sleep did she loose worrying about it?? What were her last words to her husband as she spread her wings to fly?? Did she worry about what would happen if she never came home or if she had said the wrong thing??? We will never know the answers to these questions. All we do know is that she was daring enough to attempt the impossible. She gave everything she had to pursuing her passion. She didn’t have do this. She had to have some true grit to make this life long dream come true.
I know speaking for myself, I would like to possess that level of sureness in myself. I go after something I want with the knowledge that I may fail but it is much worse to never try. I may get it wrong, say it wrong or do it wrong but I will try. I may fall flat on my face. Many times I do, but it doesn’t stop me from trying. I am going to give those things I am passionate about in life an attempt. If I fail, I will adjust and try again. Sometimes, that is all we can do. Just try and fail and try again. There is no right or wrong way to pursue your dreams, but I am slowly learning that if I spend all my time worrying about what could go wrong and why everyone is better at everything than I am, well I am cheating myself out of the joy of the moment. Sometimes just being in a single moment when you can take that deep sigh of contentment, that has to be enough.. I caught myself doing the several times this day, Just enjoying where I was and who I was with. Sometimes, if you worry and fret too much, you miss that moment. Amelia, if you know that you are one of my “sheros”, I hope someday I can have some of your moxie, and spread my wings toward the sky, take off and soar.