As I am writing this post, I am making a lasagna. It is in the oven as I type. Some may read this and say “So what, she’s cooking”. You need to understand…. I don’t cook!!! I used to cook. In Chapter One of my life I cooked. I love to cook. I love to cook for others. When I am alone, I don’t cook.
To me, cooking is as much of an art as anything. You do it from your heart. The taste of the food is equivalent to the amount of love you put into it. A lesson learned from one of my grandmothers.Cooking for those she loved was her love language.
I woke up this morning and thought I want to make a lasagna but I am not going to make the effort just for me. So, file it away and wait.
On Sundays, I have a routine. I get up a little later. Have time to enjoy the morning instead of rushing off to work. This morning was different though. There was the sweetest bird song coming through my window. I just laid there in my bed listening to the melody he was singing just for me.
I arose and sent a good morning message to my person. He is always the first and last thought on my mind daily. I told him about the bird and how it made a great start to my day. I then proceeded to get ready for church.
I go to a small county church. We are just plain folk. I am making a conscious effort to be present in each and every moment of my life. I noticed the children.”The Greeter”, she is a little girl who has to say hello to everyone who comes into the church. “The Escapee”, the little boy who if his parents ever allow an opening he will be running up through the church in a shot. The little boy who slips me a heart on a slip of paper every Sunday.
As we were singing in the choir, I was leading the group, I stare at a corner when we are singing. I don’t look at anyone. My husband used to stand in that corner. I don’t look there for that reason, it is just a blank spot. For just a split second, I could swear I saw him standing there smiling at me. It didn’t upset me. I just think he stopped by for a microsecond to say “Hi, you are doing fine”.
After church, I always go to a local coffee shop. It is owned by one of the people in my circle. My person and I meet there on Sunday. This is my favorite part of Sunday. Our friend makes us coffee, engages in some conversation with us and then let’s us talk. This is our face to face time. We are both very busy people and we don’t get a great deal of time to just sit and talk. I like it when we talk. I love our conversation and spending some time together. I learn so much from him and he lets me ramble on about what has happened in my life, filling in the blanks to things I may have told him in passing, and what I have learned from it.
It has been pointed out that I jump from subject to subject without notice. My husband used to joke with me and tell me that I needed to let him know when I was changing subjects. I think my person can sympathize with him on that.
We talk about everything. This week one topic of conversation was something I ran into last night that kind of causes “flash backs” for lack of a better term. We talk about common interests and things we are working on. We enjoy our time together before parting to go to our own spaces.
Today, our conversation was delayed due to one of my little people needing my time and attention They wanted me to watch them dance and the cuddled up next to me on the love seat where I always sit. He waited patiently, enjoying his coffee while this was taking place. After the child leaves, we get a chance to spend our time together, to exchange thoughts and ideas. We allow ourselves to be in a comfortable place and be comfortable together.
Today during our conversation., I mentioned I wanted to make a lasagna. He knows I don’t cook for myself. He said “So make one”. I said” will you eat some of it?” He said he would. I am excited to cook for someone I love. I makes my heart happy to cook and share it. So, I am making a lasagna.
My husband asked me to make him one promise before he transitioned. He looked at me one day and said ” Promise me that when something happens to me you won’t stop cooking. You are such a good cook, you need to make sure you don’t loose that”. I didn’t exactly keep that promise, but thanks to having my person to share with, I am learning to embrace that part of my life again. Serving love in a bow!!!.
By the way…..just in case you wondered…. it tastes great!!!