My Person

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If you have ever suffered the loss of your husband or wife, you know the feeling of ripping your heart out and slamming it in a hole and covering it over with 6 feet of dirt. You know what it is like to exist but not live. To breathe in and out, to make steps and not go anywhere, to look but not see because you are in this fog that is called grief. At least, that is what it was like for me.

I had some of those life lessons early on that showed me exactly what I would accept in my life and what I wouldn’t. We all have those moments when we say nope, just not gonna do that. I will not settle for nonsense. During this time, I was becoming friends with a wonderful man. There were times when I was so down and out I couldn’t hold my head up to feel the sunshine on my face. It was during these times that my person showed up on the scene. We were acquaintances, he came into the place where I work. The first thing I noticed was his eyes. Oh what eyes he has!!! Sometimes I think he can look right into my soul.

One night I was sitting at home and he commented on something I posted on a social media site and he literally saved my life. I was thinking of doing something to end the pain I was in. In that moment he said 8 words and saved my life. He could have just let it go by but he didn’t. It was 8 words that I needed to hear because in that moment I felt so very unlovely and unlovable

We are “friends” now. We have taken time to get to know each other. He is a brilliant man who has such an amazing heart. He is funny, he makes me laugh on a daily basis. Laughter is so very important to me. I don’t want to let one day go by without laughing. He listens to me when I speak but he let’s me work my way through this thing called life. He has taught me so much and he encourages me and makes me long to be and do better. He longs to see a better world for others.

I try to tell him regularly how important he is in my life. That he is so very amazing. I’m not sure if he believes me or not but I never speak anything that is not from my heart. He has helped me grow in so many ways. He is right at the top of my forever person list. You know those people that you want to have in your life forever.

He has helped me to find my way out of the fog of grief and to be able to open my heart that I thought I had covered over with 6 feet of dirt to beat and love again. He doesn’t see how amazing he is, oh but I do. His name, well, that doesn’t matter now does it???  All that matters is that he is. That he exists. That he was created for a purpose.

Ironically, as I am typing this, the song “Wind Beneath My Wings” is playing. That kinda sums up the whole idea of this page. To learn how to fly, sometimes you just need that person in your life who reminds you from time to time that you do have wings but you have to be brave enough to take that leap of faith knowing that you could fall but it is worse if you never even try.

Each and every day I thank God for my person. My life would have not been as enriched without him.

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